Two and a half weeks have passed since I left Kigali and Rwanda. For two and a half weeks I’ve been back in London trying to fit into the very different life here. It feels like I’ve been to the moon and come back. Or maybe more like the time in Rwanda was a dream and that while I was dreaming for four months, everything was on hold here in London. Obviously it wasn’t.
Coming back is much harder than I thought it would be. Reality - meaning what is reality here in London - feels odd and just not right. How can this part of the world have so much when another part has so little? How can we in the “developed world” be so detached from the source of life, from love for each other, from where our food comes from etc? How can we be so attached to stuff, to buying even more stuff when we don’t need it and to think this is all going to make us happy?
During my first week back, I was surfing on a wave of adrenaline. The excitement of being back, of finally meeting up with my dear friends, of having interesting stories to tell and of teaching “normal” yoga classes again, was carrying me forward. I was on a high that kept me hovering 10cm above the ground. Positive emotions and wonderful memories from the time in Rwanda made me buzz (for a summary of those memories please see the picture gallery on my website).
But the excitement also detached me from my body and mind – with which I had been in perfect sync in Rwanda. Never have I experienced myself so relaxed, grounded and naturally happy as I was when I was together with my Rwandan yoga students. Although it was tough, physically and psychologically to teach people who suffer from various trauma and illnesses, it was also extremely rewarding and relaxing. We somehow helped each other, exchanged positive energies and learnt from each other. I felt like I could truly be myself. Back in London, the ego, the need to please and to justify myself crept up on me (subconsciously) and BANG suddenly - injury in yoga practice. The body reacted with stiffness exhaustion. And my whole mechanism was just screaming NOOOOOO to London.
Although I like my life in London, teaching yoga, doing my life coaching etc, there is also a competitiveness here which - at least for me – is not healthy. Much of that obviously has to do with my own mind but there are also external factors contributing. In Rwanda the pace of life is more relaxed, even if people don’t have enough food to put on the table every day, there is a calm and belief that things do sort themselves out – it’s more “hakuna matata”. The people of Rwanda taught me a lot about myself, about my hang-ups and my fears and it gave me a different perspective on life. At some point I realised that picking up the loose ends upon my return to London was not the way forward. Maybe it would be better to make a clean start somewhere else. And believe it or not – somehow that opportunity arose.
In three weeks time I will be leaving London for new beginnings in Sweden. I will touch down in India, Goa, to see my teachers Rolf & Marci Naujokat for two months before I make my return to Lund, the city in south of Sweden where I grew up and studied. As with Rwanda and my work there being the closure of a circle of events in my life, going back to Lund will be a similar closure. It is where my quest for working with human rights started. It was from there that I set out on my journey to contribute to making people’s lives better through political dialogue. Now I return with the hope of continuing to improve people’s well being - but this time through yoga. It will be different from teaching yoga here in London or in Rwanda - it will be different yoga adventure but I’m sure it will be a rewarding one.
I leave this posting with a link to a video made by my co-teacher in Rwanda. Niina has compiled a wonderful pot-pourri from the classes we taught together in Kigali with the soundtrack of Ben Harper’s song “With my own two hands”. Click here to see the video
IN-Tuition Ltd